9 replies to this topic

[magic]

I have few things. I will not speak public about one of them but the other is something I used to enjoy - drawing. I used to say drawing is my own meditation. I used to draw put some music for the current mood and think about everything in the same time think about nothing. And then I just was waking up when the drawing is done. It's not like that anymore cause every time I put some music on and start to draw my mind flows about the things that ended Michael's life. Every time! So I end up being in the net writing or talking or browsing something that would take away my mind from those things. I can draw only if I watch some movie so it takes away my mind. I've been watching so many movies already!!! In the last year I went through movies than came out in 2009. Now I am going through movies that came out in 2010. Yesterday I watched 3 movies while drawing.

[Sharon007]

Thats awful Magic I hope that one day you can draw again without much pain.

One thing that changed with me was before June 25th I loved heaing Michaels songs on the radio or hear about him in the news. Now I dont get so excited I just think Michael is not with us. Also my love and interest for buying MJ stuff on Ebay has gone too. That part of me went when Michael passed.

[magic]

I also heard that some fans stopped to be interested in Michael cause they say "what's the point to be interested in dead person?" If Michael passed away it doesn't mean he is gone completely. He will live as long as he will be in our hearts

[soap]

I have it almost the same way as Sharon. I don't collect in the same extent as I used to do. I don't listen as much to his music as I used to. And I avoid watching most of his programs on tv. They just make me sad.

[magic]

I still collect if I can get something. I couldn't say it's less or more. I just choose what I want to buy and what not. Like these is Tshirts and belts here in Latvia. I didn't buy shirts cause it's expensive and didn't buy belts cause it has death article on it which I think is stupid. They probably think ppl wouldn't read the text, just see the pics in it.

Anyway, I listen Michael as before. And it also get me sad but I don't mind. I also don't mind to cry. It kind of my way of dealing with it, something that I need to do cause I can't ignore the pain or sadness.

But I don't watch him, that's one thing I don't do. I don't know, maybe if there would be some Latvian fans wanting to do some Michael's video night, I would watch but I am not watching alone.

[Sharon007]

I don't watch much videos either even though I have loads. I may watch something that was forwarded to me online. But I wouldnt sit down and decide to watch Moonwalker or something like that.

[magic]

I haven't even watched videos that was forward to me. Well some I did watch, I remember watching Michael Genius video. But there was some family and children videos coming out soon after June 25, I still haven't watched them.

[Phantom]

I am still listening to his music as much as I did before, but some of his songs bring me tears

I don't watch his videos so often, only when I am with other fans, or in fan parties

I have noticed that after he died there's a lot more mj parties in Greece, than before

I think that's kind of weird...

[magic]

^ I don't think it's weird. Well from your point it probably is but from my... It happens the same in Latvia only I am organizing them. In the past fans didn't get together cause some lost interest in Michael, they had different interests so. Those who got that probably was once and year just to drink tea or something. For the whole trial period we got together maybe just once. But never were made any party in any clubs. I didn't even think about that cause I knew there is not many ppl who are interested about Michael, so I never did. After Michael's death so many ppl appeared liking Michael, there were like 10 mew groups in Latvian network site. So when I saw that there is interest I wanted to do something. Probably also cause I wanted to meet other fans as well cause as I said the old ones lost interest in Michael. But they all appeared to be teenagers who just started to be fans.

Going back to topic but also what changed in my life. I can't talk about Michael with ppl who are not fans. Well my bf is kind a fan, well I should say he likes the music. but I can't talk with him about Michael cause after I say 1 sentence my voice starts to crack up and I feel like wanting to cry. So my bf even doesnt know what is happening in court. I just tell him small sentences like he could get 4 years. The judge will decide today or tomorrow... But not details. I could write but I can't put it in words, it's too much

[BabyGirl]

I noticed that I reject all the posthumous releases Sony makes. I still didn`t listen to Michael album, although I downloaded it. I even did not download TII. And I definitely am not going to buy it. I`d rather send the cost of this releases to Hayvenhurst in envelope than will give it to Sony.