16 replies to this topic

[CHIKO]

For me I have become less affected by all the negative press that comes out, it just doesn't bother me like it used to when he was alive. All these horrible things they say about Michael doesn't hurt me like it used to, maybe its because I know that they can't hurt him any more no matter what they say they will never hurt him again! Of course my life has drastically changed with regard to my daily activities,am not afraid of death any more. I've become less concern about what people think of me, and I've become more cautious about people am not as trusting as I used to be. Its like Michael's death was a harsh wake-up call to reality, a rude awakening! The world has become more cruel and harsh,all the things I used to do don't seem to be important anymore. With the exception of Michael other peoples' music just doesn't appeal to me any more! Most times I find it annoying listening to other people's songs!Its like the spark of life has been taken from me,I just don't care any more. The only positive thing that has come out of Michael's death is that am more forgiving and I've suddenly become more considerate to other people's feelings. I find myself feeling sorry for people who hurt, I even pray to God to forgive them! Its strange!

[Sharon007]

Since Michaels death I have been dealing with it slowly sometimes I keep checking with myself and wondering if this is all a dream. I listen to Michael alot everyday on my way into work and on my way home. I just feel something is missing everyday. Soon it will be 2 months since his passing and I still cant believe its been that long since. Poor MJ I hope he is in a better place.

[magic]

I feel similar to Chiko. As you said I am also little bit less scared from death, hoping we all will meet up somewhere after or else nothing does not make sense then. I feel myself being more compassion. My character is not very easy, I get moody very easily and lots of things can get on my nerves. But after Michael's death I try to step back, calm down and carry on. I try to be a better person. The world has lost one of the greatest humanitarians, how we can replace it, to gain some balance again? Just to be better persons. Of course I am still more emotional than before 25th June. I am much more sad. My mother often asks me why I am sad, did something happened, she gets worried them, while I am just thinking about Michael at that moment. She still thinks it's nothing much for me and I just carry on like never happened cause I didn't know Michael in person. I still listen Michael every day. And I do agree when you say that other music seems to be empty. I seem to try every possible ways to be closer to Michael. I also seem to be more interesting in his life year by year to try to understand him more. Like reading Moonwalk cause I forgot few things already, I read it many years ago.

[Annie]

As some of you might know I have been to Italy for vacation until yesterday.

I was so sad when I left. i didn't wanna go because I wasn't in the mood to do anything. Nothing would make me happy.
and when I went there it wasn't any different. My mum (who went with me) often asked: Hey What's wrong, you're always down, aren't you happy we came here?? We barely have money... so going on vacation is a big deal and I always felt a bit guilty for not appreciating it all but I just couldn't...

I searched for signs, for traces of Michael. Italian people seem to have moved on very quickly. Reason is also that they mainly listen to Italian music and probably didn't care much.
So... not even magazines with articles or something. That annoyed me a bit... how could they not care.

Only after a few days I discovered in a small newspaper stand two tribute magazines. Of course I bought them. I might scan them for you if you like!

Then I talked with a girl in the bakery we go every day and finally she was the only person who said she cried a lot too when MJ died. I was glad to talk with her about it.

Then a weird thing happened on the last few days. I met TWO people with vitiligo! Weird because I think it's rather rare no?? One person was on the weekly market in town, selling bags... he had those typical brown and white patches on his face. He was totally dressed, cap, sun glasses.
The other person was a man on the beach in the very early morning. He was ghostly pale, jogging. That day there was no sun because the weather had changed... so thats why he went out i guess and he had LOADS of sun screen on. When he went by I noticed the brown patches on his legs and rest of body....

Yesterday I came across a bag I used many years ago back in school. I looked through the stuff and there was this little blue paper... the lyrics of "smile" was written on it. not by me. the handwriting was someone else's. i dont remember who wrote it but someone must have written it to me as a comfort (I was suffering from anorexia and depressions back then).
I had totally forgotten about all that and it's weird I came across it in this time of pain.

Michael seems to be everywhere and I'm happy for every sign I get!

Just yesterday I found another tribute article in a magazine and when I read it I had to cry again. So yes I still cry. Honestly. But I also hope that it's like Chiko said in another thread. I hope that Michael can hear our prayers and wishes now. And that he sees our tears and smiles. Sometimes I imagine how he would smile, feeling all of our love.

So what I'm trying now more after his death to be more like him. Patient, loving, doing good things to the world around me. I tried before but now I want it much more. It's like I'd be closer to him when i handle things his way, you know?

I also try to use my time more efficiently. MJ's death showed me again how time passes far too quickly and then in a moment it might be over. So instead of losing time with crap and worrying about things that don't matter I try to focus on the important stuff. A lot of daily stuff seems so trivial to me now... I agree with you Chiko.

I still miss Michael so much. And that won't change.

[witchanna]

after michael died? i was too numb ( i never felt like this before) its like part of me died inside of me
hafe of my body felt hot and other side felt cold
(i felt like this for about 4 or 5 weeks maybe more after michael died)
about 4 or 5 days after im not sure what i dreaming about
michael vist in the me in the midal of the night around 1 or 2am
michael was just watching me sleep
but things did change for me
waking up feeling like i was on fire waking up feel like hafe of my body was hot and side was cold ?
i was feel physicly drined out been angery at persons did not help me feel better
good things that happen to for unknown reason
i start to write poams/songs manily about michael
i start to have a feeling like a spirt is watching over me
i start to listen michael music thinking every song has some kind of message init?
while i was watching michael's fineral something
eles happen to me i start to get the strangest visions of the future but for unknown reason
i was picking up on (something strange) but good thing
( i kept daydreaming that maybe michael fake his own death) or something

yeah michael has made feel good about myself and do new things i have not try to do before
michael is like my new soulfriend i feel happy to have around me
everytime i feel down i find myself day dreaming about the past or future and my mum picks up on it starts a talk with me about the how michael did this how michael was in the news about something he did not do
it sure makes me feel beter that my mum still cares how i feel and is trying help me to deal with my pain of losting michael

i like i say michael help to write new poams
be a better person enjoy music more
and not others put me down about how i act or do things different
now i got to get out more enjoy life maybe mete new michael fans


ok i write too much but i had get this of my mind it will help me to feel better
do new things and start enjoy life again after losting michael

[CHIKO]

I was looking at the mjjpictures website and I found some really beautiful pics of Michael during his history tour, and while looking at these pics I experienced a few moments of complete disbelief that he is actually gone.
Look at this pic for instance:

http://mjjgallery.fr...ckstage/010.jpg

Does that look like a a pic of someone who is supposed to die? Look at those eyes

I was watching in the closet this afternoon my heart was skipping a few beats every moment he danced, I still can't believe that he is really gone!

[Annie]

CHIKO, on Aug 12 2009, 11:29 PM, said:

I still can't believe that he is really gone!

yeah! I was thinking the same today again and many times before. I can't, and mainly DON'T WANT to believe he's gone

I get this chest ache everytime I think about it.....I just want him back! I don't wanna be without Michael... ever!

Today I watched Captain Eo.... he's so cute and innocent there. And he has the most beautiful smile in the whole galaxy.

[HanabiChick]

It hasn't been able to have an affect on my life yet, I'm still grieving for my dad, who died 6 months before Michael. They were the two most important men in my life, the ones who got me through bad times, and now they're both gone. It's so hard to try to deal with both right now, that I can't think of Michael sometimes, I'm just numb. It's hard to get used to a life without both, it's going to take a long time to sort myself out I think.

[magic]

You know, when I listen Michael, yes it makes me to dance. But anyway inside me there's still something sad that doesn't want me to forget and "jump for joy" and I think it will be forever like that.

[witchanna]

why is SAINT MICHAEL lieing to me( michael jackson just fake his own death)
i want to believe what my heart telling me while its telling me michael jackson fake
his own death and needs someone to find his way home to his brothers and sister
my eyes are playing tricks on me its imposable seen a ghost of michael everywhere
but while i read things in the news i don't want to believe the bad things media persons talk
about
i feel like part of me died with michael
but michael himself made me a batter person im now

Edited by witchanna, 17 August 2009 - 03:29 AM.

[magic]

witchanna, your mind is playing tricks on you. Michael didn't fake his death no matter how much we would wish. It's all in your imagination. You want Michael to be alive so that's why the mind tells you these things.

[witchanna]

[quote name='magic' date='17 August 2009 - 05:41 PM' timestamp='1250502077' post='27277']
witchanna, your mind is playing tricks on you. Michael didn't fake his death no matter how much we would wish. It's all in your imagination. You want Michael to be alive so that's why the mind tells you these things.


from now on im going to listen my heart and maybe just forget how hurt i feel
and my mind is playing tricks on me
everytime i listen to michael i hear a few messages in michael's music

[michaelmania]

[quote name='witchanna' date='17 August 2009 - 03:58 PM' timestamp='1250510327' post='27292']
[quote name='magic' date='17 August 2009 - 05:41 PM' timestamp='1250502077' post='27277']
witchanna, your mind is playing tricks on you. Michael didn't fake his death no matter how much we would wish. It's all in your imagination. You want Michael to be alive so that's why the mind tells you these things.


from now on im going to listen my heart and maybe just forget how hurt i feel
and my mind is playing tricks on me
everytime i listen to michael i hear a few messages in michael's music
[/quote]

[michaelmania]

im devastated without michael. i worship michael. im a die hard fanatic fan. im numb without michael. i will do anything to bring michael back

[witchanna]

michaelmania, on 19 October 2009 - 02:57 AM, said:

im devastated without michael. i worship michael. im a die hard fanatic fan. im numb without michael. i will do anything to bring michael back

what makes feel better is while michael is watching over me
maybe you should try to find some who can talk to dead person
and find out that michael is peace where he is watching over us?

[henaz]

Michael's death has had no emotional effect on me. I will miss all his crazy stunts though, which I thought were quite funny.

[JuliasAngel]

I miss Michael more and more everyday. I feel empty inside and the world seems a darker place without him. I miss him so much.